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How to Learn What You Want and Need in a D/s Relationship

Submissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.

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Wants and Needs

Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?

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Wants and Needs

Learn about what your submissive wants and needs are, how to discover your wants and needs for a successful D/s relationship, what to do with them once you know them and how to express them to your partner. Contains worksheets.

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An Exercise to Help You Distinguish Between Wants and Needs

When we discuss basics, the needs are food, clothing and shelter, but what about relationships? When you enter into a relationship you have needs to be fulfilled also. These could be love, attention, and affection. In a D/s relationship these could also be rules, structure, discipline and many others.

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Journaling in Submission

One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to keep a journal. How do you start one? What goes in it? Dive into the 30 Days of Submissive Journaling series or one of the many other articles about this very useful tool in a submissive’s kit.

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How To Talk About Your Wants and Needs With Your Dominant

Once you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.

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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Novice Submissives Start Here

Newness doesn’t last long, so enjoy it. Love the exploration, the learning, the desires that seem to creep into every waking moment and fill every dream. Explore this collection of basics to your new submissive journey and pick up some much needed confidence that you are ready to take steps into the world of D/s.

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New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 2

In part 2, you'll learn how to figure out what you need in a D/s relationship and what is expected of you within the blossoming relationship. It's all about what you want and need and getting as much of that as possible. Live happy. Don't settle.

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What Everybody Ought To Know About Basic Needs and Need Deficits

The next time you take a look at your needs list, make a note of how important that need is. You can always scale them so that you can make sure your base needs are being met. Never settle for less than what you require. Submissives have needs too, make sure yours get met.

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