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Wants and Needs

Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?

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Wants and Needs

Learn about what your submissive wants and needs are, how to discover your wants and needs for a successful D/s relationship, what to do with them once you know them and how to express them to your partner. Contains worksheets.

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How To Talk About Your Wants and Needs With Your Dominant

Once you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.

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How to Learn What You Want and Need in a D/s Relationship

Submissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.

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When Needs Change: How Communication Worked When My Partner Didn't Want to Be Dominant Anymore

Through open communication and the ability to listen to one another, we were able to come to a conclusion that met both of our needs.

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What Everybody Ought To Know About Basic Needs and Need Deficits

The next time you take a look at your needs list, make a note of how important that need is. You can always scale them so that you can make sure your base needs are being met. Never settle for less than what you require. Submissives have needs too, make sure yours get met.

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Reminder: Asking For What You Want Is Not Overstepping Your Place

As a part of my development Master trained me to be transparent with my feelings and wants and needs. This included the very things that I wanted or needed that I thought he should be deciding on. If I wanted to go to the store for something I had to learn to ask him for it. If I wanted a kiss or attention, or if I wanted sex; I had to learn to ask for it. There are ways to ask for something that doesn't seem demanding or controlling and I had to work on learning these traits to a request.

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Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive

Understanding your needs and how important certain ones in your life is a key component to finally reaching happiness and fulfillment.

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Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship

We are the sum of our experiences, after all, and if I hadn't learned these lessons I don’t think I’d be where I am today.

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Financial Control in D/s Relationships

There are many different aspects to financial domination, maybe as many as there are D/s relationships. There is a chance that at some point the issue of financial domination will come up between you and your Dominant. If and when this happens, here is some practical advice.

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