To conclude this series on wants and needs I'd like to talk about what to do when you needs and wants are not being met.  We've already discussed how important the fulfillment of needs are to your relationship and also what your desires are. You can also review how to express your wants and needs to your partner so that you are both on level footing. If you need to review, please do so.

Men and women live in relationships all the time and are unhappy because they don't get what they need from the other person. No matter how much talking or arguing goes on, nothing gets accomplished. We've all seen the divorce rate increase due to irreparable differences. Most of these probably could be prevented if we all learned to explain our wants and needs to each other.

Your wants and needs are a part of a D/s relationship. If they aren't being respected and honored then you have a few things you can do to bring the relationship back on track.

  • Sit them down and have a heart to heart with your partner. Use non-attacking words. Don't say "You do this, or you don't do that." Instead, stick with 'I' words. "I feel...", "I believe...", "I need...".
  • Suggest changing up your relationship by adding x,y, and z. These are needs or wants that are not being fulfilled.
  • Write a letter to your partner about your feelings. This could open up lines of conversation that may not exist now.

Unfortunately, there are times where needs or wants can't be filled by the person you are with. If the above ideas don't help improve your sense of happiness and fulfillment then you will have to face the truth that they may not be the right person for you.

Leaving a relationship is a difficult decision and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. I feel that if your happiness is in jeopardy then you should do what's best for you.

Do you have ideas for what to do in this situation?