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Ask SubGuide has been a fixture on the site for over 10 years. It has answered hundreds of questions from submissives and their partners in all walks of the BDSM journey. Share a laugh, shed a tear, get some advice, or learn something new every week with Ask SubGuide.

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Latest from Ask SubGuide

How Do You Prepare for Anal Play?

Preparing for anal play involves more than physical readiness. This guide explores hygiene, relaxation, communication, lubrication, and consent to help readers approach anal play comfortably and safely. Whether you're curious or experienced, thoughtful preparation can improve confidence, reduce discomfort, and create a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Ask Subguide – What Should You Do When You Don’t Understand What Your Dominant Wants?

Misunderstandings happen in every D/s relationship. This article explores what submissives can do when they don't understand their Dominant's expectations, emphasizing honest communication, asking thoughtful questions, and avoiding assumptions to build trust, confidence, and a stronger power exchange dynamic.

Asking for More Structure Without Being Pushy

Many submissives crave more structure but hesitate to ask for fear of appearing demanding. This article explores how to communicate a desire for greater structure in a D/s relationship with honesty, vulnerability, and respect, encouraging conversations that strengthen trust and create a more fulfilling dynamic for both partners.

D/s and Dating: Can You Have Both?

It’s time for another Ask SubGuide question! We love using these monthly posts to spark conversation, offer guidance, and support the questions so many of us carry as submissives. Whether this directly applies to you or simply gets you thinking, we hope it adds something meaningful to your month. Question:...

What are the differences between D/s and M/s?

Dominant/submissive and Master/slave dynamics are often confused, but they are not the same. This article explores the key differences between D/s and M/s relationships, including levels of authority, structure, consent, and expectations, helping submissives better understand which dynamic aligns with their needs and desires.

Can you be a good sub if you don’t yet love yourself and aren’t yet 100% ready to be the best submissive you can be?

Many submissives worry they must be healed, confident, or fully self-loving before they can be “good enough.” This article explores whether self-love is a prerequisite for submission, reframing growth as part of the journey, not a barrier to belonging or deserving a healthy D/s dynamic.

How can a willing sub help a willing but nervous new Dom feel comfortable in the scene?

When a Dominant is new or feeling unsure, a submissive’s support can make a meaningful difference. This article explores how a willing submissive can help a nervous new Dominant feel more confident during scenes through communication, reassurance, feedback, and mutual trust, without taking over the power exchange.