Home » Ask Submissive Guide

Ask Submissive Guide Anything

Ask SubGuide has been a fixture on the site for over 10 years. It has answered hundreds of questions from submissives and their partners in all walks of the BDSM journey. Share a laugh, shed a tear, get some advice, or learn something new every week with Ask SubGuide.

Submit Your Question

The Ask Submissive Guide column is the place to submit your questions about BDSM, submission, and your personal stories anonymously. One question is answered every week.

Send in your question on our Google Form: https://bit.ly/AskSubGuide

Latest from Ask SubGuide

Ask Subguide – What Should You Do When You Don’t Understand What Your Dominant Wants?

It’s time for another Ask SubGuide question! We love using these monthly posts to spark conversation, offer guidance, and support. Whether this directly applies to you or simply gets you thinking, we hope it adds something meaningful to your month. Question: What if you don’t know the language of a...

Asking for More Structure Without Being Pushy

It’s time for another Ask SubGuide question! We love using these monthly posts to spark conversation, offer guidance, and support the questions so many of us carry as submissives. Whether this directly applies to you or simply gets you thinking, we hope it adds something meaningful to your month. Question:...

D/s and Dating: Can You Have Both?

What are the differences between D/s and M/s?

Dominant/submissive and Master/slave dynamics are often confused, but they are not the same. This article explores the key differences between D/s and M/s relationships, including levels of authority, structure, consent, and expectations, helping submissives better understand which dynamic aligns with their needs and desires.

Can you be a good sub if you don’t yet love yourself and aren’t yet 100% ready to be the best submissive you can be?

Many submissives worry they must be healed, confident, or fully self-loving before they can be “good enough.” This article explores whether self-love is a prerequisite for submission, reframing growth as part of the journey, not a barrier to belonging or deserving a healthy D/s dynamic.

How can a willing sub help a willing but nervous new Dom feel comfortable in the scene?

When a Dominant is new or feeling unsure, a submissive’s support can make a meaningful difference. This article explores how a willing submissive can help a nervous new Dominant feel more confident during scenes through communication, reassurance, feedback, and mutual trust, without taking over the power exchange.

My long distance partner cuts communication with me and it hurts, what can I do?

When communication suddenly drops in a long-distance D/s relationship, it can feel confusing and deeply painful. This article explores possible reasons for communication gaps, how to cope emotionally, and ways to address the issue with honesty and care while protecting your own well-being.