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Define This: Safeword

In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is all about safewords. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.

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10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants

I'm going to give you 10 Red Flags that can indicate you are with an abusive person. This is nowhere near an exhaustive list. There are many many more flags out there. See the list of other essays below if you want a more in depth article.

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5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person Before You Go On That Kinky Date

Remember, this person is your "just in case" person. It's extremely unlikely they will ever have to use the information but it's important. So what information is important for your safe call person to have?

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Adult Children of Alcoholics and Submission

Reading Dr. Jan’s book really opened my eyes, and it is my hope that by sharing this information, those who relate can begin to work through some of these traits and break out of the binds of the past and explore the future where anything is possible. I would personally recommend talking to your Dominant about this and decide upon what the next step will be. A few things to remember is that you can do it, you can get help, and you are not alone.

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Aftercare

Aftercare is the attending to the emotional and physical needs once a scene is over. But what does that involve? Learn how to give and receive healing aftercare and what you should do in the event you are taking care of yourself after play.

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Article

After "Red" : How to Manage the Aftermath When You've Used Your Safeword

You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.

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Alcohol and Kink Don't Mix - Being Under the Influence Negates Consent

Just like I won’t get in a car with someone who’s had too much to drink, I’m definitely not letting someone who’s intoxicated come at me with a flogger or tie me up, either.

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A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas' "Tender Mercies"

There are a lot of risks that comes with meeting people online. Tequilarose shares a lesson she picked up from reading "Tender Mercies" by Kitty Thomas about online safety and abusive situations.

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A Safe Call Could Save Your Life: How to Set It Up

A safe call is something that you may never need to use but should be there anyway. Like car insurance. It's there in the case of an accident. It's not like you plan on getting into an accident so you get insurance. It's the other way around. A safe call is your backup plan, your safety net. In fact, it could very well save your life. Are you in good hands?

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A Safer Kinky Sex How-To

Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I'm amazed by casual play partners that don't employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But even monogamous relationships might use safe sex barriers to prevent pregnancy and for ease of clean up.

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Article

A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual

When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

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