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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are still relationships that require a different approach to develop the same connection and intimacy. Sure, the physical contact is far less than a face to face relationship but for some people, a long distance relationship is a smart first step or only step if you are unable to explore BDSM in any other way.

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More Red Flags for Everyone - Personal Safety and Warnings

Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community, it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives.

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Nonverbal Ways to Safeword

There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In these cases it is nice to have a backup signal to slow or stop the play. Many of these times you are tied up, gagged or otherwise unable to vocalize. When you can't talk you need a safe object.

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No Stupid (Sex Toy) Questions: Should my vagina be burning?!

It set my vulva and vagina on fire. And not in a good way. What's up with that? Is my vagina defective?

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Online Submission

Exploring submission online is a growing reality. Chat networks, IRC chat rooms and websites developed for real-time fantasy all have areas where the D/s subculture thrives online. They have developed online protocols, rituals, belief systems and several new words the enhance the fantasy online.

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Overcoming the Fear of Being Triggered to Open a Dialogue

You want to explore kink but are afraid to talk about it because of past triggers. There is help.

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Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)

What is SSC? It's a credo that people in the BDSM community use to express the safety tenets of play.

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Physical Aftercare and First Aid Quick Reference

Print this Quick Reference and put it in your toybag. You never know when an emergency may happen and you’ll want to know what to do. This has tips on how to handle sudden illness and injury as well as when to call for medical professionals!

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RACK(Risk Aware Concensual Kink): A Realistic Alternative to SSC

If you have ever tried to explain what we do to someone that doesn't have any familiarity you will probably use these very standards to stand up to your descriptions. An alternative, but one that is even hard for some BDSM practitioners to embrace is called RACK. It stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. The only thing that the two safety standards have in common is the consensuality of it.

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RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra

Understanding the differences of RACK and SSC can help you decide if your preference for activities is more for one mantra or another.

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