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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

As long as your relationship (both in play and out of play) follows SSC standards, then you have a healthy relationship, and there is nothing that detracts from the fact that I believe men and women deserve equal rights.

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How Blind Faith Leads to Dangerous Online Encounters

Trust should not be given to anyone sporting a Dominant sounding name on the Internet. Trust is earned through significant consistent actions by that Dominant over a period of time. If a Dominant cannot offer any kind of references or information about themselves then you should not give to that person any level of blind faith or trust!

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How Can I Get Less Bruising from Caning?

I haven't been able to sit for the last four days... I like pain, but caning isn't what I thought, is there anything I can do beforehand to make it a better experience?

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How to Care for Bruises and More BDSM Play Recovery Tips

The following list of links are my suggestions on key posts on the topic of bruise care and aftercare from my archives. I hope you find them to be useful.

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How To Identify Potential Fake Dominants, Predators and Posers

Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I'm sure I've even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.

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How to Use Playtime Check Ins Wisely

Whether you are playing with your partner or someone new, learning how to give good information during a check in is vital to your enjoyment and comfort. I am going to explain what a check in might look or sound like and what information to provide that will be best received and used.

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I'm Afraid of My Long Distance Dom

For fear of angering him I submit and abide by this punishment, leaving me more stressed I have fallen in love with my dom, I am not allowed to call him by name. I feel I m pushed up against a wall at all times. What should I do?

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Kink and Mental Health

Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.

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Kink and Mental Health: Temporary Relief

I won't pretend kink's a magic cure-all, and I sure as hell won't suggest it's a cure for OCD, but it does help mine when it comes to M.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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