As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to keep a journal. How do you start one? What goes in it? Dive into the 30 Days of Submissive Journaling series or one of the many other articles about this very useful tool in a submissive’s kit.
Read The Series | Find SimilarIf you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.
Read The Series | Find SimilarApplying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.
Read The Article | Find SimilarA Dominant has limits just like submissives do. There are things that don’t interest them, or that they have a moral or ethical standing that will prevent them from exploring something. Over the years I have heard many times that Dominants should have a checklist also and I agree.
Read The Article | Find SimilarDo you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission?
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.
Read The Article | Find SimilarLearning what you might like or dislike is a challenge, but not one you can’t face with the right tools. In this article, I’m going to cover what types of limits there are and then three ways you can begin to figure out what your own limits are no matter how new you are to BDSM.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen you are looking for a Dominant for the first, or last, time, you have a few reasons to wonder if the person you see is compatible with you. After all, you don’t want to spend a lot of time getting to know someone if they are not going to be your perfect, or almost perfect, partner. Right? I’ve put together a few signs to help you tell if someone might be a good match for you.
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