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The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You

BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand

Applying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Reviewing and Updating your Checklist

The checklist is a great tool to track the progression of your submission. Have you revisited your checklist lately?

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Everything That's Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List - And How To Fix It

Most of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.

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How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

As long as your relationship (both in play and out of play) follows SSC standards, then you have a healthy relationship, and there is nothing that detracts from the fact that I believe men and women deserve equal rights.

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What are my limits?

There's a lot you can do to learn about BDSM and what your limits might be.

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3 Ways You Can Learn About Your Limits When You Are New to BDSM

Learning what you might like or dislike is a challenge, but not one you can’t face with the right tools. In this article, I’m going to cover what types of limits there are and then three ways you can begin to figure out what your own limits are no matter how new you are to BDSM.

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