BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.
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As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?
Read The Article | Find SimilarLimits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.
Read The Series | Find SimilarApplying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.
Read The Article | Find SimilarA Dominant has limits just like submissives do. There are things that don’t interest them, or that they have a moral or ethical standing that will prevent them from exploring something. Over the years I have heard many times that Dominants should have a checklist also and I agree.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMost of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThere's a lot you can do to learn about BDSM and what your limits might be.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen you are looking for a Dominant for the first, or last, time, you have a few reasons to wonder if the person you see is compatible with you. After all, you don’t want to spend a lot of time getting to know someone if they are not going to be your perfect, or almost perfect, partner. Right? I’ve put together a few signs to help you tell if someone might be a good match for you.
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