Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?
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When we discuss basics, the needs are food, clothing and shelter, but what about relationships? When you enter into a relationship you have needs to be fulfilled also. These could be love, attention, and affection. In a D/s relationship these could also be rules, structure, discipline and many others.
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When we discuss basics, the needs are food, clothing and shelter, but what about relationships? When you enter into a relationship you have needs to be fulfilled also. These could be love, attention, and affection. In a D/s relationship these could also be rules, structure, discipline and many others.
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I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Do I need to accept that my pleasure is not a consideration in our relationship?
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I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Do I need to accept that my pleasure is not a consideration in our relationship?
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Are you both new to BDSM or D/s and want to know how to deepen your relationship and give each other what you want and need? Great advice is waiting for you.
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Are you both new to BDSM or D/s and want to know how to deepen your relationship and give each other what you want and need? Great advice is waiting for you.
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Don't be afraid to speak up when you need or want something different. You never really stop negotiating in D/s.
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Don't be afraid to speak up when you need or want something different. You never really stop negotiating in D/s.
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Submissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.
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Submissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.
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Once you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.
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Once you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.
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The more you hold in, the less you are really getting in your submission that you could potentially be enjoying. Open your mouth and speak up. Make your live how you'd like it. Stop dreaming of talking to your Dominant and start doing it.
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The more you hold in, the less you are really getting in your submission that you could potentially be enjoying. Open your mouth and speak up. Make your live how you'd like it. Stop dreaming of talking to your Dominant and start doing it.
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As a part of my development Master trained me to be transparent with my feelings and wants and needs. This included the very things that I wanted or needed that I thought he should be deciding on. If I wanted to go to the store for something I had to learn to ask him for it. If I wanted a kiss or attention, or if I wanted sex; I had to learn to ask for it. There are ways to ask for something that doesn't seem demanding or controlling and I had to work on learning these traits to a request.
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As a part of my development Master trained me to be transparent with my feelings and wants and needs. This included the very things that I wanted or needed that I thought he should be deciding on. If I wanted to go to the store for something I had to learn to ask him for it. If I wanted a kiss or attention, or if I wanted sex; I had to learn to ask for it. There are ways to ask for something that doesn't seem demanding or controlling and I had to work on learning these traits to a request.
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Being in a power exchange relationship at the time was more of a want and desire than a need. The more experience I gained, the more it became a need.
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Being in a power exchange relationship at the time was more of a want and desire than a need. The more experience I gained, the more it became a need.
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