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Content related to "Reminder: Asking For What You Want Is Not Overstepping Your Place"

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Understanding a D/s Relationship as a Newbie Submissive

I am having trouble dealing with the fact that he wants that Master and sub relationship as my utmost and foremost priority in terms of my relationship status. I’ve always thought of the relationship being a normal one but more “kinky” I guess. Please help?

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The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom

Bottom topping isn't as bad as it is hyped. The fear of doing this is overblown hype, for the most part.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals

In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 12: Don't Use That Tone With Me

Everyone could learn to be a bit more appropriate from time to time. Here are a few tips that might help you be heard in the right perspective that you intended.

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That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar

Just because there’s a waiting period between the request and the final answer doesn’t mean that you simply do nothing. Let your little slave light radiate as it gets stronger/brighter!

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Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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Sample Master/slave Contract with Ethical Non-Monogamy Section

A sample D/s contract that also includes a non-monogamy section. Feel free to copy, edit and use this one for creating your own relationship contact.

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5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to actually help submissives understand their role, and isn't more than a faux paus. During interactions with your Dominant, it's a lesson to know that you can't control what is going on.

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