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Reminder: Asking For What You Want Is Not Overstepping Your Place

As a part of my development Master trained me to be transparent with my feelings and wants and needs. This included the very things that I wanted or needed that I thought he should be deciding on. If I wanted to go to the store for something I had to learn to ask him for it. If I wanted a kiss or attention, or if I wanted sex; I had to learn to ask for it. There are ways to ask for something that doesn't seem demanding or controlling and I had to work on learning these traits to a request.

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Wants and Needs

Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?

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Wants and Needs

Learn about what your submissive wants and needs are, how to discover your wants and needs for a successful D/s relationship, what to do with them once you know them and how to express them to your partner. Contains worksheets.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Do you get in trouble constantly over how assertive and aggressive your speech is? Has your Dominant asked you to demand less and request more in how you ask for things? You can learn more humble, submissive speech with a few simple lessons!

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals

In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation.

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How To Ask for More Without Being a Pushy Submissive

Submissive or not; once you've learned how to communicate effectively don't settle for less.

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D/s Contracts

A contract is a physical document outlining the D/s relationship. A contract is not a legally binding document, but more of a symbolic agreement between two consenting individuals. Some are very formal and have multiple pages, others are as brief as a few paragraphs.

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5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to actually help submissives understand their role, and isn't more than a faux paus. During interactions with your Dominant, it's a lesson to know that you can't control what is going on.

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D/s Dating

Dating is dating. It’s not easy and how we approach it affects the outcome. Once you adjust your thinking to how we go about dating and the changes in life that the Lifestyle brings upon us you will see that finding a partner is never easy.

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