Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it's a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging. Thankfully, with a bit of personal introspection and using the tips on this website you've been able to figure out who you are as a submissive and what kind of Dominant that you are looking for.

However, just finding a Dominant that identifies the right way for you isn't enough - you should know that. Not all Dominants are the same or expect the same things from you. So, what should you expect from a Dominant? It all really depends, but here are some basics.


A Dominant should be able to be polite and respectful of you and your personality. There is no excuse for rude behavior. I find it especially attractive if they are gentlemanly (ladylike) during the dating phase and if they want to be a dirty whore in the bedroom/dungeon then that's a nice surprise also. If you feel you are not treated with respect then it's possible you aren't going to get along.


I feel a Dominant should always be in control of their life in order be able to be in control of me and mine. If they abuse alcohol or drugs, have budgeting problems or are reckless in behavior, submitting to them will also feel out of control. Emotions are also an indicator of how in control they are. If they can't manage their anger or frustration how are they going to respond if you make mistakes (because you will make mistakes)?


A lot of what I value in a relationship is the honesty and openness that can exist between two people.  A Dominant should be honest and open about their own expectations, feelings and everyday life. If they are going to expect honesty and transparency from me, then I expect the same in return. An honest Dominant is a trustworthy Dominant. Being caught in one lie is one too many.

Accepts Responsibility

A Decent Dominant is going accept that they make mistakes and own up to them. No one is perfect and it's a positive quality to recognize that and work to correct your mistakes. Seeking excuses is a cover up for being responsible.

Knows and Understands Needs, Wants, and Desires

A Dominant will listen to what you want and need in a relationship and in play and will respect them. A healthy relationship with a Dominant is one where they don't ignore your needs, build upon your wants and desires and make you feel cared for and loved within your own boundaries. Sure a Dominant may push your limits a bit, but only because you agreed to it.

These are but a few basic expectations for a Dominant. I'm certain that there are more and that each of us likely has different ones when we look for someone. What expectations do you have? Are yours different from mine?  What would you add or change?