I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me.

We all can handle different levels of stress in our lives. KnyghtMare and I have been under a lot of external stresses since about August of last year. At first, it appeared we were handling it well, but as the months have gone on and the end of the stress isn't apparent it has caused some pretty serious strain on our relationship. This stress has caused me to be less than submissive on many occasions. Through some reflection, I've come to realize that my submission comes from a place of joy and peace. When I don't have it than submitting is harder on me.

I've been pretty transparent with all of you that submission is not a natural trait in me. I work on it every day and part of my joy in submission is being good at it. So, the fact that the stress we are under is making it harder on me just compounds the problem. KyghtMare is really at his wit's end with me. I talk back, I question his orders, I argue. I know I'm doing it and still I don't care. It's terrible and I feel horrible. I'm not perfect folks. But I know that I can get better and learn how to manage stress better is the key to my joy and in joy, I find my submissive peace.

The wonder of being a slave, as you put it, isn’t that we serve when it suits us but rather that we serve always. — Unknown

When I encountered this quote on Journal Prompts this week I had to hesitate. I consider myself a slave and yet right now I am not serving always. I'm only serving when I feel like it. And let me admit to you now that I don't feel like it. I feel more like spending my day worrying and anxious of the future. I'm obsessed with stewing over our difficult situation instead of what I should do. I trust KnyghtMare to take care of us and I know we'll get out of this situation sooner or later. It's not stopping my brain from creating all of the negative ends that could potentially happen if the situation continues.

Where does the heart of your submission lie? What happens to your desire to submit when you are under a lot of stress?

Stress eats away at your inner joy. As is clearly happening to me, it can impact your relationship in negative ways. Take some time today to reflect on how you manage stress. Does it need improvement? Go online and check out articles about stress management so that you can be better prepared. Save your notes in your journal.