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The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You

BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.

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The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo

Some of the taboos that are discussed, other than the ones I named above are scat/golden showers(human toilet), rape play, age play, and the rest, you can find that out for yourself when you read the book.

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My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition

I've read recently on a forum where a submissive is explaining her life and how she struggles with one thing or another. Someone commented that they must not be submissive enough and that opened the gateway for competition. From people saying that they wouldn't behave that way, or a good submissive would do this or that it's all saying (even if it might not be true) that I'm better than you are because I know the answer. As if there were just one answer to begin with.

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Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage

Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and playful or painful. It relies on the skill and evil imagination of the Dom/me to set up a position where your body is essentially going to punish itself. Picture your Dom/me pulling your hair to lower you to the ground. The hair pull is a simple illustration of a stressor. If you don’t lower yourself, you will be in pain.

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Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist

not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a munch or party and be faced with the question “What are you into?” The newbie who likes sensual play or enjoys service may feel that s/he is not quite living up to the expectations of the lifestyle.

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My Toys Or Yours? Building Your Own Toybag On a Budget

Just because I am a bottom does not mean that I should not have a variety of toys that I own. The more the idea came to fruition, the more I became convinced that I should not be without a decent toy bag, just because I was without a steady partner.

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What a Pain: Does Pain Tolerance Change Over Time?

Tolerance will grow in time, and will change. Most of the fun in exploring bdsm is in trying new things together, nobody can have everything thrown at them on day one.

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Little Known Ways We Experience Sub Space

Sub space is a real thing. It does happen and there are many ways you can reach sub space, experience sub space and come out of sub space. And there are people that don't reach sub space. That doesn't make you any less of a submissive, not at all. It just means you experience things differently.

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How to Care for Bruises and More BDSM Play Recovery Tips

The following list of links are my suggestions on key posts on the topic of bruise care and aftercare from my archives. I hope you find them to be useful.

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Talking to Your Dominant: When A Desire Becomes a Need

Being in a power exchange relationship at the time was more of a want and desire than a need. The more experience I gained, the more it became a need.

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