I came across
The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboobecause well, I love Mollena Williams. She’s intelligent, quirky, has a great sense of humor, so why not read something she’s written? Everything I love about her personality shines in her writing. Not only that but talking about taboo subjects is also an interest that grabbed my attention.
Taboo topics in the lifestyle are one of those things that you will find people talking about in hushed voices and usually off in a corner. There’s always this huge fear that if others find out that you have an interest in a taboo topic such as race play, blood play, and religious play, just to name a few examples. Mollena covers these topics as well as several others in the books.
Before diving into the different taboos that are talked about, Mollena stresses a very important point and that point is that no one should be judged based on their fantasies and kinks. We are all very different people who make up the BDSM community and that for us to be able to stay a strong community, we have to support and accept one another. I think this is a great point to make as sometimes we(as a community)sometimes get caught up in judging others based on their kinks and don’t realize the possible damage that can be caused by this. Another thing that she discusses is her own personal journey on dealing with taboos and how a taboo scene went for her, which are amazing glimpses into her perspective on the subject. A third point that is also covered within the first few chapters, and throughout the book, is to think about WHY you have an interest in a taboo scene. The reason this is such an important question to ask before heading down the path of exploration of taboo role play is that a lot can be unearthed from such a scene that can do quite a bit of damage if one isn’t careful.
Some of the taboos that are discussed, other than the ones I named above are scat/golden showers(human toilet), rape play, age play, and the rest, you can find that out for yourself when you read the book. One thing she does talk about when engaging in these types of scenes, ones that can cause a multitude of negative feelings towards your partner, to have an aftercare buddy. This is someone who wasn’t involved in the scene and can give you the aftercare you need as well as is a sounding board for what happened during the scene. But, don’t let this be a substitute for communicating with the partner the scene took to play with. After there’s been a cooling down period, you need to make sure to communicate with your partner what you were experiencing during and after the scene.
Before I wrap up this review, I want to share with you one of my favorite quotes from the book:
No fantasy should have the power to shame you. If you are exploring your sexuality, you must do so without the damaging guilt and shame that can turn you to self-loathing.
You can purchase Mollena's "The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo" both on Amazon and Barns & Noble in both paperback and ebook format.
Tequila R’s Rating: 10/10 Paperback: 128 Pages Publisher: Greenery Press (March 1, 2010) Language: English ISBN-10: 1890159751