First published on I wrote this almost 5 years ago and am sharing it again with you here.

As with everything, BDSM has to offer, there are what are considered light play activities and those that are intense, even on the edge or taboo. Face slapping is considered the latter.  Two years ago I approached KM with a request for something I never thought I’d ask for. I asked if he’d  slap me across the face.

He complied and we carefully added it to our kinky play. I loved it. It’s jarring and hot and sexy. We don’t have any training or education in this form of play so it’s always careful and he pulls his slaps, focusing on the soft tissue and avoiding as many bones as possible. I’m so very grateful for Ms. Kali’s series on face slapping and can’t wait to add even more face slapping into our play now that we’ve had some excellent information.

Now, with face slapping, you have to be careful of a primal instinct of fight or flight. Physiologists will tell you that when you slap someone across the face, the chemical reaction in the brain tells the person to fight or run. This could have bad repercussions to what should have been a hot scene, so make sure you reduce that possibility by letting the person know you are going to slap them, and comforting them after with other sensations.

Her first video covers  the motivations for face slapping (9 mins). As a part of our play, the mind fuck is a very big part of how we get intimate and a slap across the face is going to emphasize what is going on within the scene. It’s also a very hot way to punctuate a verbal humiliation scene or during sex where KM wants me to feel like a whore for his pleasure only. And it works. It puts me in a place to give him exactly what he needs at the time to make our play sizzling.

Since we’d like to incorporate more face slapping, KM and I have felt it very important to learn more about the safety of face slapping. After all, there are a lot of small bones in the face that are fragile. I’d hate to wind up with a black eye by accident. Watching Ms. Kali’s  safety video (11 mins) was helpful in picking up the aspects of preparation and safety with face slapping. The good news is that before we watched the video KM has been applying a lot of the items specified; fingers only, stay on the fleshy part of the cheek, keeping it flexible. Of course, learning how not to flinch will be really darned hard when KM doesn’t want to hold my head anymore. I loved her recommendation to practice this and I think I’ll ask KM to work on that.

The  technique required for face slapping (10 mins) is more for KM, but I watched it with him so that I could learn what the slappee is supposed to do to make the experience hot for both of us. Wow, it was so delicious to see the different positions she recommended.  Trying these out, and with the shape of my knees, we’ll likely have me standing, or lying down with him over me. I love when he’s close and intimate so I’m glad she explained that play doesn’t have to be so cold and separate from intimacy. Remember folks, intimacy makes a scene that much more powerful and one with face slapping is quite powerful!

The last video in the series about face slapping is  slapping using gloves and feet (14 mins). While neither KM nor myself are really interested in this side of face slapping I did want to see what Ms. Kali had to say about it. As I watched it I realized I’d love to get KM a pair of leather gloves. It’s just a yummy thought I had and OMG I can imagine the pleasure I’d get from being slapped (spanked/punched) with him in leather gloves. Yummy. Anyone else wants to do cock slapping or tit slapping? Mmmm. She’s got a lot of wonderful face slapping ideas to add more to our play.

So whatever you do, add face slapping to your next kinky scene and I’m certain that you’ll want to try that again very soon.