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Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist

not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a munch or party and be faced with the question “What are you into?” The newbie who likes sensual play or enjoys service may feel that s/he is not quite living up to the expectations of the lifestyle.

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Pain Processing

Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or another so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Now, no matter what processing method you use, there are ways you can learn to process pain differently to enjoy pain play more fully, allow you to take more pain and to push your pain edge further.

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EBook

Processing Pain in Play

If every play session ends before you want it to, or you feel like you whimp out- you too can benefit from learning healthier more successful pain processing techniques!

Processing Pain in Play is a downloadable e-book that will give you the secrets to better pain processing for longer more exciting play sessions and meaningful, rewarding SM exchanges.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1

If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive smell’. Dom/mes sense ‘new blood’, and swarm like piranhas to interact with, play with or train the new submissive in the group. Dom/mes may contact you online or meet you at a munch. They are covered with impressive or threatening names: Sir Snod of Grass or Master Whackyourass. With no experience, how can you tell if they are someone you can trust? The answer is information!

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SM and Impact Play

Impact play is a human sexual practice in which one person (the bottom) is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person (the Top) for the sexual gratification of either or both parties.There are number of activities that qualify as impact play. Let’s check out some common and not so common ones as well as explore sadomasochism.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2

Once you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or does s/he make you feel that you are constantly failing his/her orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me.

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Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked

Despite being commonplace in kinky relationships, explaining the appeal of being spanked to someone who is new to the scene or curious about it can be difficult.

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Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage

Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and playful or painful. It relies on the skill and evil imagination of the Dom/me to set up a position where your body is essentially going to punish itself. Picture your Dom/me pulling your hair to lower you to the ground. The hair pull is a simple illustration of a stressor. If you don’t lower yourself, you will be in pain.

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