You are a Reflection of Your Dominant - Or Are You?
I've heard this numerous times and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Kind, good-intentioned people say that submissives should be on their best behavior because they are the reflection of the Dominant who owns them. The personal responsibility of the submissive is all of a sudden not taken into account.
I'm not arguing that bad behavior can look poorly on the Dominant in the relationship but it doesn't give any responsibility to the submissive. Last time I looked we were adults first, and if you can't act like one then that's all on you, not the person who is trying to mold you into someone that can serve them.
If I'm rude or have ill behavior around others as a child then, of course, it reflects poorly on the parents and their ability to teach their children manners and proper behavior. This, of course, is where I think the belief that the Dominant is that reflection. But I don't know about you but I don't equate my Dominant as my parents.
He is my partner, my owner, and my love. I don't lose my personal responsibility and to show my maturity just because I am in a D/s relationship. I don't suddenly become child-like in my need to behave well.
Yes, I feel that in lifestyle related events where there might be a level of protocol, no matter how casual that my behavior is being watched as an example of how my Dominant leads me. If I come into the relationship with a higher level of appropriate behavior and politeness this can look good on the Dominant too - even though he never taught it to me.
Therefore, those well-meaning people who say that you are a reflection of your Dominant are only half right. You are a reflection of everyone who ever influenced you. You are your parents, your teachers, and your role models. You are yourself and should be able to be looked at as a submissive and not just as the reflection of your Dominant.
Does it work the other way too? What if the Dominant has poor behavior or is rude? Does this look bad on the submissive? Unfortunately, using my own experience I'd have to say yes. Think about it for a moment. If you see a couple and the Dominant is being rude, do you make a snap judgment that the submissive could be rude as well? I know in my situation, and I'm not proud of it, I considered the couple horrid people and didn't associate with them. Just on that one instance.
Let's make a point to be the best reflection of ourselves at all times. It shows well for us as the human race, not just a good behaved submissive or a polite Dominant. What do you say?
You are NOT only an example of what kind of Dominant owns you. You are yourself.