Disclaimer: I do not have children nor are they in my future. The post below discusses the issue of deciding to have children for a variety of reasons besides a natural progression of wanting them, having a partner that wants them and then working towards that end.
When KnyghtMare and I got married one of the first questions we were asked was when we planned on having children, as if that were a natural progression from marriage to kids right away. Many people looked surprised when we told them that children were not in our plans and that I would abort any accidental child between us. Other than the obvious dissension between pro-choice and pro-life, people considered us a minority amidst our group. Not having children was not a decision that either of us came to lightly. Neither KnyghtMare or myself see ourselves as the parenting type. We love the way our life is now and don't feel incomplete for not experiencing parenthood.
This post is more about the D/s decisions surrounding children that have come to my attention through requests for advice and by reading discussions on forums. Below are my personal opinions about these topics and anything I say here should be weighed against your own morals and beliefs. Make your own decisions about your life.
Interestingly enough, I was approached by a couple of people online that very month we got married asking what to do in the case that their Dominant wanted to "breed" them as many times as possible and that it would be their responsibility to raise the children. From the perspective they gave me in their messages this wasn't a result of a loving partnership wanting to have a huge family - it was a directive of the D/s contract, a task that the submissive was to carry out in obedience to the Dominant's wishes. I've heard about these sorts of relationships but never encountered them before. My first reaction was to ask questions.
- Does the submissive want to have a lot of kids?
- What are safety measures in place for the woman's health? The resulting children's health?
- What would happen to the children if the relationship fell apart? Can the woman support them on her own?
- Why does the Dominant want so many children?
- Does he have the financial means to support the mother and his children?
Of course, there are more questions that could be asked but entering into an agreement like this takes a lot of serious thought to the future of not only the submissive but the children produced. Seriously, the Duggers have 19+ kids because they believe that every child is a blessing from God. Can you care for that many? Do you want that many? Sure this may be an extreme example, but you have to consider the possibility of having more children than you would have dreamed of.
My understanding of a breeding arrangement is that the Dominant would be detached from the relationship in a way that would make love and romance difficult to perceive. I'm not even sure that they'd be a good father. It's so hard to see this as a positive sort of dynamic. All I can say to those who asked me for advice was that I was not really qualified to answer to it and directed them to other resources.
Okay, so there is another definition of breeding that I'd like to touch on here so that you know I'm well aware of it. Breeding a slave could very well mean bareback unprotected sex and have nothing to do with children. However, that wasn't the case in the advice requests above.
In some breeding relationships, I feel that perhaps it is a pregnancy fetish that the Dominant has. What could be more exciting for them than to have a pregnant woman around as often as possible?
A breeding relationship is by far not a common sort of relationship. It is interesting to consider the many sorts of relationships that people enter in to.
- Do you want children?
- Would you be comfortable if the Dominant decided how many children you were to have without your input?