When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had not been instilled in me as a child hindered my interactions with people. I appeared crude and rude and immature. Since that defining moment, I have found my manners and enhanced my etiquette. Hopefully, people see me as a well put together person now, as it should be. Now, I can't say that all adults have the following problem, but I've noticed an increasing trend that needs to be stopped. As a society, we are becoming increasingly forgetful of basic manners.
The basic manners I'm talking about are
- P's and Q's (please and thank you)
- Holding doors for others
- Using a respectful voice when speaking to strangers
- The art of polite conversation
- Gentlemanly behavior (not just for men)
On a daily basis, I am bombarded with rude people. I'm ashamed that I used to be one of them.
But you don't have to be that way. In fact, a polite courteous submissive is one that can be valued without additional training. And it won't take a lot of effort. You just may already have perfect manners, but don't think that you can get off without reading the rest of this message because I have some words for you too.
Learn Your Manners
Drilled into your as a child you may have gotten lazy with them now that you are an adult, especially because you are influenced by society and by society, in general, is rude you have forgotten those important kindnesses.
Please! Yes, I say please, don't think that I'm assuming you are inconsiderate. Any manners you do have are wonderful and shouldn't stand out like a sore thumb. Point number one is that right now, they do. You hold the door for someone and they almost stop and pause because you are being nice. If you say thank you and smile at the lady behind the checkout she things you are flirting. It's gotten to the point in some areas that a scowl is a new way to greet everyone.
If you don't know a lot of manners, read up on them. Miss Manners is still appropriate. So is Emily Post. You can find them in your library or even online. A free e-book copy of Emily Post 'Etiquette' can be found at.
Emily Post Online: www.emilypost.comMiss Manners Online Column Archive: Or just Google it! http://www.google.com/search?q=manners+and+etiquette
Use Your Manners
Once you know know what manners you should be using, make sure you use them. Just because everyone else is being inconsiderate doesn't mean you can't lead by example. Show them that you are a better human being. Make the server feel comfortable serving you by being polite and respectful.Look at them while you order and whenever they ask a question. They are human too!
The same courtesy should be given to all service personnel. They are there to serve you, but you should still show that you appreciate it. The mentality that they are getting paid to do it does nothing to boost your level of service, but a smile sure does!
At the table? Use a napkin the right way, learn how to hold your utensils and eat a variety of food that is more civil and less 'raised in a barn'. Tuck your chair in when you get up. Make sure you excuse yourself when leaving or the occasional burb. Chew with your mouth closed and take smaller bites!
Remember when your mother said not to stare? Same is true here, and that includes eavesdropping. I'm terrible at this one. Master catches me all the time and then I'm not allowed to look anywhere but at him. It makes talking to the server quite difficult!
Overall, learning and using your manners shouldn't be difficult. It should come naturally. Be the example of a new tomorrow; one full of courteous people!
Thoughts to Ponder
- What manners did you have enforced on you as a child? Do you still do them today?
- Do you agree or disagree that people have lost their manners? Why?
- How important is being polite to you or your Dominant?
- How would you hint to someone that they are forgetting their manners?
- Table Manners and Etiquette
- International Business Etiquette and Manners for Global Travelers
- Etiquette quizzes, manners tests, quotations on respect, civility