Welcome back to another Define This episode from Submissive Guide. I’m lunaKM.

Today’s term comes from the comments section of a previous video. If you have a question about a BDSM term or some lingo you’ve come across, leave it in the comments and I’ll consider making it a Define This segment. So, onto today’s term; what’s the difference between being bad and being a brat?

Good question! I’m going to start with brats because they get a bad rap among other BDSM participants and it’s likely because they always look like they want to annoy people. But that’s not really the whole of it.

A brat is a bottom who enjoys struggling against control or challenging the top. Brattiness has a wide spectrum from the playful “uppity bottom” to the smart-ass masochist. Some brats are “testing” their dominant, others have a desire to be “conquered and tamed”, while some simply do not wish to be controlled. On the surface, this is a negative quality in a submissive; however, a certain amount of “brattiness” is enjoyed by some Dominants, and may in fact be a large component of a power exchange relationship.

I mentioned smart-ass masochist in the description and it deserves a bit more expansion. A smart-ass masochist, also called a SAM is a bottom who doesn’t want to submit, but rather challenges and/or annoys their dominant in order to entice them into punishing the SAM. A SAM enjoys teasing and egging on a Dominant and there are Dominants enjoy this behavior.

Check out a trio of posts on Dominant Guide written by a proud brat owner, Manx Roper.

More Brat Play On Kink Academy (membership required, affiliate link)

Being bad, is the opposite of being a brat because a brat has an agreed and often consensual role in a D/s relationship. A brat’s owner will not tolerate being bad for bad's sake and only accepts bratting when it’s the right time for it. Being bad is intentionally ignoring rules, orders or pre-negotiated roles that the relationship has established and has nothing to do with trying to annoy or playfully tease their partner.

Being bad will garner negative consequences, while being a brat with someone who wants a brat can often lead to fun play, bantering and a closer connection with their Dominant. If you are brat, make sure the Dominant you are seeking or are with enjoys being a brat owner because if not, it’s possible that your fun playful annoyance will come off wrong and you’ll gain a real punishment instead of the play you were seeking.

That’s it for this episode, if you have more thoughts or opinions on brats and brat ownership leave them in them in the comments below. And if you have suggestions for terms you want defined and explored let me know those in the comments also.

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