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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Safewords

A safeword is a vocal brake in play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. It is a simple word or phrase that requires very little thought process to utter as a sign of distress or caution. Understand how to select your safeword and why it’s important in the following articles.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse

Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have my answer. That seems good enough for me.

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5 Ways to Bring Out Your Dominance In Bed

I've had a question recently from a submissive woman who has been asked on occasion to be assertive and dominant in bed by her Dominant. She says she can't connect with that because she is submissive and has difficulty being assertive in the bedroom. I can understand where she is coming from with this, and I'm certain that you do as well.

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Mind Your Manners: Not just for kids anymore

When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had not been instilled in me as a child hindered my interactions with people. Now, I can't say that all adults have the following problem, but I've noticed an increasing trend that needs to be stopped. As a society, we are becoming increasingly forgetful of basic manners.

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Making the Transition from Online to Face-to-Face Submission When Struggling with Agoraphobia

The most important factor was having found that right Dominant who understood. This wasn’t and hasn’t been an easy transition.

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BDSM and Submission: The Five Precepts of Service

Meditating on these precepts offers me inspiration and guidance. I think of these as five bottomless practices that can be continually explored and deepened. They are not linear and have no value as theories or concepts. To be understood and realized, they have to be lived into and communicated through action.

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Bootblacking and Why I Love It

The thing for me which is so very wonderful about polishing Master’s shoes is that it is something that I can do on my own to show Master how much I am thinking about him. My focus is always on what I can do in order to make Master’s life better.

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Two Bodies Revolving Around a Core: The Slow Dance of a BDSM Long-Distance Relationship

We live in a world where some of us living on the planet are lucky enough to have access to the technology that makes the distance seem tiny.

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