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Content related to "Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse"

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30 Days of Submission

Every day throughout the month of November 2013 there was a new post from me answering the questions posed in the 30 Days of Submission meme that I’d seen going around. You gain a glimpse into who I am as a submissive and my relationship with KnyghtMare.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Series

BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Too Young for BDSM - Responding to the Questions I Get from Underage Persons

At least once a month I get an email from someone that is under 18 asking very important questions about BDSM and their curious interest. Here are some of the questions and answers I generally give these persons.

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What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission

I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage are?

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Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2

Once you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or does s/he make you feel that you are constantly failing his/her orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me.

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More Red Flags for Everyone - Personal Safety and Warnings

Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community, it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives.

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When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your dominant is hurting you out of anger this is abusive.

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Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse

If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives?

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Article

What is (Emotional) Abuse in a BDSM Relationship?

Mistress Steel takes aim at emotional abuse in BDSM relationships with a thorough definition and discussion about what it looks like and the impact it can have in a power exchange relationship. This article is a jumping off point and is meant to help you learn what is and isn’t abuse. If you feel you are being abused and need help, please contact your local partner abuse hotline. http://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

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