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Content related to "When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship"

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When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your dominant is hurting you out of anger this is abusive.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Discipline and Punishment

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.

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How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

As long as your relationship (both in play and out of play) follows SSC standards, then you have a healthy relationship, and there is nothing that detracts from the fact that I believe men and women deserve equal rights.

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The Conquer Me Companion

Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham is one of the best and my personal favorite book for explaining the emotional and mental facets of being submissive in today’s world. I recommend it to every submissive that asks me for advice and you too can learn why I find this book to be one of the best personal help books available for submissives.

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Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse

Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have my answer. That seems good enough for me.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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About Punishment

Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself.

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How S&M Saved My Life

S&M became an almost therapeutic aspect of our relationship.

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Self-Esteem

Self-esteem relates to how you feel about yourself, whether you like yourself. You are worth it. No matter what sort of submissive you are, you have potential to excel in everything you put your mind to. Now then.. how does one improve their self-esteem?

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