This isn't one of my usual posts that have some sort of resolution in the conclusion because this is something I'm working through and this post is created at least in part as a portion of the out-working. With this in mind, I'm looking forward to your feedback in the comments!
This is something that's been on my mind for quite some time, why is it that we as slaves in particular believe that the busier we are the more valuable we are? Even I'm guilty of thinking this way and it didn't dawn on me just how rooted this belief is until I was listening to another slave talk about all she was responsible for over a weekend event. As I was listening to her, I was wondering when she would have time to simply enjoy the event. However, in a split second, I realized I pile stuff on my plate during events also!
In the past several years of attending conferences, I offer my service as a volunteer or end up helping in some way. I make sure my 'dance card' is filled with duties, which of course is not the same as going to an event and simply enjoying the time spent in fellowship. Instead, I serve as a facilitator of enjoyment, essentially this is what my busyness at most events boils down to. In and of itself, there's nothing wrong with this at all - facilitating enjoyment is a very good thing. However, I think believing that the busier I am in accomplishing this will increase my property value (pun intended) is the problem.
I've come to see that oftentimes we slaves measure our value as slaves according to the accomplishments of other slaves and attempt to match the productivity level of other slaves that we look up to. While this isn't true of all slaves, it's true for a great many slaves, especially those that are new to their slave walk. I remember when I had finally accepted the fact that I'm a slave. What I saw in the slaves that I admired was that it seemed like they were doing all kinds of things - daily! And me on the other hand, I wasn't. There were times I didn't feel like cleaning up, times I wished that I could clean up once and it would just remain clean forever. There were times when I didn't even feel like I was accomplishing anything at all; I would go to work, come home, eat, tidy up, make groceries, cook something, wash rinse repeat... a monotonous cycle, yet necessary of course. When I looked at other slaves, it always looked like they were doing so much more, and not only were they doing so much more, they were taking great delight in all they were doing. Work, school, children, cleaning, cooking, baking, and candle stick making... I would get worn out just reading or hearing another slave's to-do list! And the Masters - they were always so very proud of their busy slave(s). Naturally, that's how I wanted my eventual Master to feel about me. So, I got busy too!
It would take some years before I realized that not all busy is good busy or even productive. There have been many times that I was busy for the sake of keeping busy. Isn't that still like wasting time and energy? Really, is a slave less valuable for having some leisure time? It would also take years before I realized that the slaves I admired back then (and even now) are really doing some of the same basic things that I'm doing day in and day out - we're not going balls to the wall on everything every single day.
I think that when we believe that our value is found in all the things we do, when there's nothing or not much to do we end up feeling worthless on some level. Strange but true... just ask the slave who's laid up due to medical reasons.
What of you, what do you think?