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Article

Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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Video

What Does It Mean to Be Submissive?

In this video I’d like to help you understand what it means to be submissive in a Dominant/submissive context as it pertains to BDSM relationships. I want to debunk a few common myths and help you or your partner accept that being submissive can be a healthy expression of yourself or your sexuality.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission

Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don't they. For the brave souls that start searching for a common thread in their heads, a like-mindedness you can be sure that there is a sea of differences to swim through to get there.

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Using a Slave Journal - It's Not What You Think!

The Slave Journal is a log of command, instructions, and requests from the Dominant. When they ask for you to do something, you write it down. Things like new rules, mention that they prefer Charmin toilet paper or that they love the red dress you wore the other night.

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Understanding Natural Pain Processing Techniques for Better BDSM Play

There are three natural pain processing methods. They are acceptance, denial, and devouring. Two of these methods are very common, and the third being rare.

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Am I Trying Hard Enough? Learning How to Make the Most of Your Inner Submissive Voice

That inner nagging voice that never goes away can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It can help you remember your focus but it can also drive you insane if you’re not careful

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No Stupid (Sex Toy) Questions: Should my vagina be burning?!

It set my vulva and vagina on fire. And not in a good way. What's up with that? Is my vagina defective?

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