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Understanding Humility in D/s

The act of humility, the state of presenting yourself so to the world is perhaps one of the most challenging things to do. In the realm of D/s, the lifestyle, most commonly known as Domination and submission this precept becomes even more significant.

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Submissive on Your Own Terms: Analyzing The One True Way

There are those who believe that there is only one way to be submissive. Mistress Steel challenges those thoughts with critical thinking, to open up the idea that submission is personal and varied.

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I’m a New Dominant, How Can Submissive Guide Help Me Understand My Submissive?

As time went on, I noticed that I was getting questions from Dominants in my email and praise from them for what their submissive has shared with them from the site. And so, I went on a little exploration of the site with new eyes. How would a new Dominant use Submissive Guide to learn and explore their budding relationship with a submissive?

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.

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Everything That's Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List - And How To Fix It

Most of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.

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Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media's Representation of Kink

Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series is the litmus test that the mainstream media will now use to judge what those of us in the community consider to be a huge part of who we are.

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Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

The only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.

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Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn't Agree To

My Dominant is constantly changing the rules of the relationship and I don't agree with them. I love him and don't want to give him up but I am starting to question if he ever really loved me at all?

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