Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you'd like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and sadness that will inevitably come? How can you deal with the feeling of depression and abandonment when you know they are coming back and that the separation is temporary?
It's never easy to face being alone. A D/s relationship is no different that the thousands of other relationships out there that face time apart every day. Military families being one that comes to mind first, they have developed support systems for the families of soldiers deployed or away for training that might benefit your own needs. But along that line, look to the local community for people that are dealing with being separated from their loved ones.
Learn How to Handle Stress in Healthy Ways
There are many ways that stress can manifest with one of you is far away. Relationship stress is a big one and leads to many break ups when not handled well. Learn how to handle stress in healthy ways and if you don't know what to do, find counseling help with the stress. You are never alone in this.
Learn to accept the stress of separation in healthy ways. Keep a journal about your feelings if you feel it will help you. Learn relaxation techniques. Maintain a hobby, spend time with friends. Anything you know will help you deal with the stress of being apart.
Get Support from Friends, Family, and Groups
If you aren't a member of the local BDSM community, that's okay, but I'm going to suggest any way that they are a good support system for all things related to D/s dynamics and you may even find people that you can consider friends. Your other friends can also be compassionate and understand that you are apart from your partner, even without the D/s element and will want to comfort you and provide a distraction. Allow them to help you when you think you need it and sometimes when you don't.
Engage in Hobbies
Time moves by much quicker when we are doing something we enjoy. If you have a hobby this is the time to devote time to it. If you like to volunteer, you may find a great deal of positive energy from that as well. Take an adult learning class in something you've been interested in, go to local band concerts and enjoy some free entertainment. Get out and do something so that you aren't sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and your separation from your Dominant.
Make the Most of the Contact You Do Get
When you do get to talk to your partner make sure you express how you are feeling and don't obsess over the time that still remains. Looking at the big picture can be depressing. Keep spirits high and talk about what you have done and plans you have for the future when you are together. Create the space of intimacy and those brief moments of conversation will feel like glowing stars in the sky lighting your path.
Allow Yourself to Feel Emotional
There will be a time that you can't always be upbeat, nothing shakes you person that you want to exhibit to people. And that's okay. Allow yourself to feel sad and miss your partner from time to time. Ignoring your feelings is just as unhealthy as dwelling on them. You can even create a candle lighting ritual to help you feel for time passing and the person you miss.
I know I have readers who have experienced times without their Dominants presence. What do you do in these times to get through what feels like endless hours? Any advice for people finding this post?