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Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.
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I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.
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So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.
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Series
One of the hidden jewels on this site is an e-Zine that ran on Yahoo Groups back when I first started exploring submission. It has since stopped production but the articles it contained are still valuable and worth a read so I thought I ‘d bring them back to the forefront. They’ve been archived here with the editor’s permission since the site was first created but I don’t think many of you know just how wonderful they are. I encourage you to check them out!
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One of the hidden jewels on this site is an e-Zine that ran on Yahoo Groups back when I first started exploring submission. It has since stopped production but the articles it contained are still valuable and worth a read so I thought I ‘d bring them back to the forefront. They’ve been archived here with the editor’s permission since the site was first created but I don’t think many of you know just how wonderful they are. I encourage you to check them out!
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I've always been the strongest one in my relationships. He isn't weak, but very calm and he has always set me "free"...too much, if I have to say the truth. I hope it makes sense...he's understanding, we are talking about it a lot...but I need some extra advice. I don't want to confuse him even more...
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I've always been the strongest one in my relationships. He isn't weak, but very calm and he has always set me "free"...too much, if I have to say the truth. I hope it makes sense...he's understanding, we are talking about it a lot...but I need some extra advice. I don't want to confuse him even more...
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Ways that a submissive can teach without worrying about "being Dominant" in order for the education to happen and also ways that a submissive could take on education and share that knowledge with their Dominant as a part of their service.
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Ways that a submissive can teach without worrying about "being Dominant" in order for the education to happen and also ways that a submissive could take on education and share that knowledge with their Dominant as a part of their service.
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I should be accepting punishment for misbehavior and yet I'm getting turned on by the spanking or the evil stick that used to spell doom for my punishment and it starts to feel good. Now, what do I do?
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I should be accepting punishment for misbehavior and yet I'm getting turned on by the spanking or the evil stick that used to spell doom for my punishment and it starts to feel good. Now, what do I do?
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I've spent some time trying to muster up a list of identifying features of Dominants and Jerks just to see what I can come up with. Hopefully, they can help you identify why you may be miserable with the partner you are currently with.
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I've spent some time trying to muster up a list of identifying features of Dominants and Jerks just to see what I can come up with. Hopefully, they can help you identify why you may be miserable with the partner you are currently with.
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How do you cope with sexual frustration? Kayla helps you figure out what you should do when you have been teased and then left high and dry when your partner gets too busy.
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How do you cope with sexual frustration? Kayla helps you figure out what you should do when you have been teased and then left high and dry when your partner gets too busy.
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