Every submissive everywhere has asked this question at one time or another, whether that be to themselves, to their partner or to a mentor like myself.

How do I improve my submission?

The challenge with answering this question is that it's such a broad, generic question. It's almost impossible for any non-invested person to answer. That's why I want to help you figure out for yourself how to answer this question.

It starts out with knowing what sort of submissive you are. Can you describe the things you do for your Dominant as a part of your submission to them? Take a moment to make a list that you can refer to. For example, I know that I have a lot of domestic, sexual, masochistic and personal assistant tasks I do for KnyghtMare to make his life better. I could make pages of things that I do for him and you should be able to do so also. If you have difficulty coming up with defining your submission, ask your partner for help. You really need to know what you do as a part of your submission if you plan to improve yourself further.

Why do you feel you need to improve?

Other than the human drive to constantly improve, why have you chosen your submission to improve? Is there something your Dominant has questioned or mentioned that they'd like if you knew more about? Do you feel stagnant in your current place and want more options in ways you can serve? Maybe you've made a lot of mistakes recently and wish to work on the things that you don't have down yet. Or perhaps you just don't know the answer to the question.

Who are you improving for?

Is this a personal need to improve or are you being asked to improve by your Dominant? The drive to improve can come from many different outlets and knowing where this drive is coming from can help you figure out what improvements need to be made so that you can lay out the steps required to make the changes in your life that you wish to do. If this is a personal wish for improvement you'll have a wider selection, most likely, of things you can work towards. A Dominant may already know exactly what he wants you to work on - so make sure you've talked with them about it!

Identify Weaknesses and Room for Change

While you are talking to your partner, ask them if there are things they'd like to see you improve upon. There's no reason to go at this blind. If they ask you to improve your blowjob skills, and you work more on home care items, who are you really improving for? Remember why you are doing this. It's to make your life fuller for the betterment of the relationship and for pleasing your partner. So don't go at this task alone. Get their input. Don't be offended by their answers. Remember you asked for them to tell you where they feel you could improve. This isn't the time to go ballistic over your weaknesses. You ASKED for their input. Write it all down.

If your Dominant says that there is nothing they see the need for improvement on right now, accept that. We all want to improve in something so pick something you would like to learn or increase your skill with and ask your Dominant if they wouldn't mind if you worked on that. Keep in mind why you want to improve, to begin with. Don't work on submissive positions, for example, if your Dominant will never use them. (Unless you just want to know them for the sake of knowing some. Knowledge for knowledge sake.) Your choice in focus doesn't have to be relationship directed either. If you've always wanted to be better at writing, or a hobby you have, or baking, or anything else you can seek education and improvement with those things to better yourself as an individual.

By now you've probably been able to find a few things you could work on specifically that will improve your submission and if not they will improve you as an individual. Save that list. We'll talk about what to do with it and how to start working with it in the next video.