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For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

A safeword is how you can protect yourself with a trusting partner.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One?

No one should judge you for how you want to live your life (and if they do then they are the ones in the wrong). So, imagine my wonderment when early on in my personal development I encountered submissives and slaves that say they have a slave heart and they have a heart to serve. Or better yet, that you have to have a slave heart in order to serve. They went on to say that they don't have to work on their submission, that it comes from the heart and is easy for them.

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Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

By setting our boundaries, we can ensure that we are navigating the ‘lifestyle’ waters as safely as possible. This is a personal responsibility that each of us have that is at its core about self preservation.

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Telling the Difference Between a Ritual and a Protocol

Rituals and protocols can add richness, structure and even a little fun to a D/s relationship. Knowing the difference between the two can help the submissive better understand the desires and intentions of the dominant, and to be more pleasing when performing them.

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The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange

Being a smart, capable woman whose self-awareness has led her to identify wholly as a slave, I have set up some checks and balances in my life that help me feel comfortable pushing myself further in my Power Exchange dynamic.

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Eight Miles - Looking For a Smooth Transition for Long Distance Relationships

Healthy, and a little scary, but ultimately beneficial, the changes from one to the other can be a little surprising, and undoubtedly will raise small conflicts of opinion that will need to be addressed.

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Learn to Speak Up and Speak Out: Empowering Yourself to Have a Voice

But asking for what I want and raising concerns to him is topping from the bottom! No, no it's not. You do, in fact, have to tell them what you are thinking and feeling.

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Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Communication comes up frequently as a key topic to developing and maintaining healthy, open relationships. But many of us don't know what good communication looks like and have problems with at least one part of good communication techniques.

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