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Content related to "What is (Emotional) Abuse in a BDSM Relationship?"

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Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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Solo-Coaching: Three Key Elements to Fire Your Motivation for Change as a Submissive

We all aspire to improve our lives and wish to take on the challenge to make those changes, but quickly we’ll realize that motivation is the key to that change. You can’t become a better submissive if you don’t have the motivation to make those changes.

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The False Comfort of Labels on Our Personal Identity in Kink

We allow ourselves to become trapped within the created labels of others we are essentially accepting an external level of control or entrapment. Becoming comfortable and accepting of yourself is when you will find your personal strength and internal peace.

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Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

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Acceptance of My Feminist Submissive Identity

I have spent much time pondering the seemingly conflicting views of feminism and submission. In the first part of my article, I would like to discuss feminism and how it fits in with my view of both the BDSM community and submission. In the second part, I will explore how I practice feminism in my personal life.

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Serving and Submission after an Abusive History

Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not from any Dominant in the lifestyle, just from others in my past. I've learned enough that if you have similar past experiences, I'd like to share some of it with you.

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When He Removes The Collar: The 3 R's to Get You Back on Your Feet

I'd like to share with you what helped me restore myself and ultimately seek the collar again.

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What Does "Breaking a Slave" Mean?

It certainly seems that as slaves, we do pass a point where the major force of our resistance and self-defensive mechanisms, the shell, is broken, and we enter a state of pliancy and moldability for our owners.

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Is It Healthy to Do Humiliation as Punishment?

So how would they know when the humiliation is damaging you? Is it possible to use humiliation as a punishment without damaging a sub's self-esteem or is it best reserved strictly for play alone & nothing more?

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Fear in Submission

Fear can be good, because it makes us take a moment and stop and think about what we’re about to do, especially when that thing we’re about to do is stepping out of our comfort zone. Making the decision to submit, is definitely one of those decisions.

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