Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!
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Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?
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I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen we think of bottoms or have interactions with bottoms, there are many negative connotations that come to mind.
Read The Article | Find SimilarBDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people, it's pretty easy to define abuse. How do you define abuse if the way the dictionary defines it just does not apply to you?
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe responsibility of a submissive doesn’t disappear at any time. You need to look out for yourself and learn to communicate effectively with those you wish to play with, whether it’s the first or 500th time you’ve done so.
Read The Article | Find SimilarI work in a very conservative environment, so we try to keep marks to places that can easily be covered. That doesn’t always work and it limits our play field greatly in the warmer months because I live in a hellishly humid place in summer. Any suggestions?
Read The Article | Find SimilarProtecting each other's privacy is so important. We don't out each other. We just don't.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMistress Steel breaks down the many levels of subspace, as she sees them, and how to navigate them in play.
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