The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.
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A common mistake that many submissives make is to assume that giving up control also means giving up the responsibility to themselves and to the situation. A submissive shares equal responsibility for any consequences - good or bad - that occur as a result of consensual play or activities.
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Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?
Read The Article | Find SimilarSubmissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).
Read The Series | Find SimilarIf you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.
Read The Series | Find SimilarIf all we have for responsibility is to be obedient then we are getting the easy job. And that’s just not the way I see submission. There is no power exchange if you just have to obey commands.
Watch The Video | Find SimilarWith all BDSM relationships varying so dramatically, it's hard to make a general assumption on who bears the burden of responsibility. It's important to embrace the responsibilities you do have and to act with great diligence when performing those duties.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEvery adult has some personal responsibilities that don't go away just because you may be submissive in a D/s or M/s relationship.
Read The Article | Find SimilarKnowing how to keep yourself safe and guard your vulnerability until you can expose it to the one you trust is a valuable trait.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIf you love the way wax feels drizzled all over your body, consider adding in knife play for the scraping or removal of the built up wax from your skin.
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