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Solo-Coaching: Learning From Failure - It's A Good Thing

Sometimes, failing becomes debilitating. As a submissive, we will make mistakes, and how we deal with those mistakes will show us if we intend to grow or flounder. You aren't defined by your mistakes, but by your effort. Keep trying; it's in the number of times you were willing to try that you succeed.

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Talking Even When Words Are Hard: Opening the Lines of Communication With Your Dominant

Your partner cannot read your mind. If you are not practicing open communication, then they cannot know what is bothering you, even if they know you very well.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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How To Identify Potential Fake Dominants, Predators and Posers

Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I'm sure I've even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.

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Preach What You Practice: Teaching What You Know Helps Others and That's Why I Do What I Do

You can have the passion for teaching as well. In everything you do, there is a lesson that another submissive can pick up. A few years ago I was given the opportunity to show another submissive how I give a foot massage. Now, I've not had training and I've only picked up a few books and read a few articles so I wasn't sure what I could teach her, but we still sat down at the feet of our owners and massaged them. She did learn a few new things that she didn't already know and it re-solidified my ability to please my Master in this task. You too probably have things you can teach.

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Establishing a Safe, Trusting Environment for Talk

Let's cover what a safe environment looks like from the people present at the physical location you choose to talk in. A good environment takes planning and mutual agreements to work the way it's supposed to. And you thought that you just had to say, "We need to talk," right?

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Is Submission a Need?

The issue is I feel like I have a need to submit. It's not just fun for me; I crave it on every aspect, not just sexually. Is this normal? How can I explain to my girlfriend that our sporadic play is fun, but I need more rules and structure?

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Single in the Scene Part II: Service

As we apply the term service to hierarchical relationships, it’s really simple: what the Owner requires or needs. Those things that make the Owner’s life easier, more comfortable, and more joyous (at the very least).

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?

Let's do an activity to figure out how a personal journal can help you in your submissive development.

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What To Do When You’re Unhappy in Your D/s Relationship

How to effect change when your D/s relationship leaves your unfulfilled, confused and miserable starts with communication. But Kayla has more advice for you if that doesn't work.

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