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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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The Diary of a Submissive

I liked the story because it felt normal, it is the story of someone finding out that they like to be in a dom/sub relationship. It comes across as healthy and fun and is written like a friend telling you about their exploits that you would envy and want to share.

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How To Get the Spanking You Want

Overall, I think it's a decent book for someone who needs a way to share their spanking secret with their partner in hopes of finding a spanking partner in them. If you would like help talking to your partner about your spanking interests, get this book.

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Dressing for a Play Party; What to Wear

Even if you don't have any fetish wear in your wardrobe I'm sure you can find something that would be acceptable at the party.

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What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira

It is my place to be the loving, clumsy, sensual, bolshy, caring, frightened, strong, impatient, intelligent, emotional, imaginative, feral (yeah, I know) person that I am. …Which all brings me back to that one simple word… PEACE. I can try to fight all I want who I am inside, but in the end, I will not win because I am what I am.

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Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle?

So should there be a solid set of definitions that people can choose from? Other than the dictionary definitions that is; something lifestyle related that we can point to and say if you fit into a, b and c you are submissive, but if you feel more like d, e and f you are slave. If we had to come up with specific definitions what would be in your list for each label?

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Submissive and Slave: A Personal View

Some say the difference between a submissive and a slave has nothing whatever to do with how much control one gives up or how submissive one is. That it's in one's actions. In the way the slave obeys without question or hesitation. In the respect in the slave's voice when he or she speaks with his or her owner. In the way the slave knows what the owner needs almost before the owner does. But I've known some submissives to show their dominants more respect than some slaves show their owners.

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Strong-Willed and Opinionated: Can I be Submissive?

A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, "You're a strong submissive with surrendering tendencies." She went on to say that it takes one exceptional Dominant to get me to that place. And she's right. I don't submit to just anyone that says they are Dominant.

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Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media's Representation of Kink

Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series is the litmus test that the mainstream media will now use to judge what those of us in the community consider to be a huge part of who we are.

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Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

The only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.

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