From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-19-11

Presented with the dilemma of being outspoken, independent and strong-willed when submissive desires crop up, what do you do? Are these personality traits incompatible? I'm here (and living proof) that no, they are not. You can be all of these things and still be submissive.

A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, "You're a strong submissive with surrendering tendencies." She went on to say that it takes one exceptional Dominant to get me to that place. And she's right. I don't submit to just anyone that says they are Dominant. My Dominant has wrangled me in and roped my heart. I surrender out of love. I submit because I am called to do so and it is my goal to do that with my whole heart and soul.

There are people right now that don't feel like they could be submissive enough because they are independent or outspoken or opinionated. That somehow, submission means being docile and dependent.

Can a strong-willed and opinionated person be submissive? I'll give you a resounding yes!

Submission is separate from all of your other personality traits. In fact it can compliment all of them. For each person is different and there will be someone for everyone. KM likes that while we can never decide on dinner plans, that he can bounce ideas off of me and we can have discourse without it effecting how we interact with each other.

For a Dominant that doesn't like to micromanage, it's nice to know that they can rely on an independent submissive to get things done without worrying about the little details. Unless you want the micromanagement (like me).

I think submissives are the most adaptable people on the planet.We bend and change behaviors on a whim. We strive for perfection of the most mundane to the most intricate and we are all over the personality spectrum. We are CEO's to stay-at-home moms/dads. We are innovative, creative, opinionated and the life of the party. We are also docile, reserved and quiet.

Now, I'm not a Dominant and have no experience with being Dominant, but I'd have to say that the more like a person you are, the easier it is to love you. They don't want robots. They want Yes, men and women, and not usually "whatever you wish" submissives. You need to be able to think for yourself and choose to be at their side. It can make your surrender that much better.

We are life partners, we are best friends and lovers. If we can't be these things, how can we be submissives to them?

So, when you begin to think about it, our strong wills and opinionated natures help to enrich who we are as submissives. If we change the way we perceive submission, we'll see that there's no ideal person for submission.

It's what draws us to submission that makes us unique and perfect for someone. What draws you?

Thought to Ponder

• Can someone that wants to be submissive not have the traits needed to be submissive?
• Is bratty behavior different from opinionated and strong-willed? Why or why not?
• What personality traits do you have? Do they ever impact your submission in  a negative manner?