I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me.
Recently I've encountered a few questions from others asking about taking a break from submission or from the D/s relationship and I've been a bit concerned by the thoughts coming out of the discussions. The idea that you can turn submission off is abhorrent for many of us submissives who identify as submissive in role and not in a short term behavior change. For myself, submissive is who I am, not what I do so I could never stop being submissive. I liken it to being a sibling, spouse or a parent. You can never take a break from these roles. Sure you can shuffle their priority depending on what you are doing, but you never stop identifying as any of these roles.
But that's not quite what people are asking. Okay, so maybe some are asking that, but depending on how you identify in your submission, that answer can be a straight yes or no. Casual submissives, those that are submissive only in the bedroom or during play, can easily take a break from submission. Others that might also be able to turn off their submissive desires are ones in a long distance or online only relationship.
But if you are like me, and can't separate yourself from the submissive/slave you are, then the answer isn't as clear. I've had a similar thought on occasion and I know what they mean when they ask for a break and for me the reason or reasons behind it are personal.
Sometimes I experience moments of intense stress and during these times, I want to shed as much as I can that can cause me that stress. "Taking a break" from everything, as it were. It's not that I'll stop being submissive, but I want to stop thinking about it, stop carrying the responsibility of it and also to shed my obligation to it. It doesn't mean I want to stop being submissive or being KnyghtMare's slave, but just that I want the weight of the world at the time to subside and give me a space to breathe.
Can I take a break, really? Not anymore. I may have been able to do it early on in my submission, when it wasn't as ingrained in me as it is now. Now I find submission to be a release when the world is at its worst. How I made the shift might help some of you wondering if you could take a break from submission.
Just like the roles of spouse or parent, it's never the actual role that you want to escape from; it's what comes with it. So, with my submission, I learned to accept that submission was the escape from everything else weighing me down. The main goal if any role in our lives, hopefully, is to find peace and happiness. When I realized that I felt most at peace and happy when I was submitting I stopped fighting against it and my desires for a break faded. Trust me when I say this was not an easy process and even today I have to remind myself how wonderful submission makes me feel so that I can embrace it again, full force.
Our lives are busy and stressful and yes, sometimes we can feel overwhelmed with it. Don't make submission something you want to escape from. Find something about it that gives you joy and hang on to that when all the world is crowding around you.
What can you learn from this story? I'd like to know your thoughts on taking a break in the comments below!