When you start doing your own self-work, or self-coaching, you may be surprised how your priorities reorganize themselves when you start focusing on your needs instead of your wants. Your needs are healthy and have a right to be met.
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Communication is not the sexiest word a submissive can utter, but it’s one of the most necessary. Whether we like it or not, it is squarely our responsibility to communicate those needs to the dominants who care for us.
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What makes ritual different from habit? What is a ritual at its core? And how can we conceptualize it? Such questions can fuel hours of discussion, reflection, and of course, cogitation.
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I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEveryone at one time or another is going to go through moments of guilt. Submissives may have added self-guilt when you break a rule, or upset your Dominant. These things are going to happen as you develop and grow in your role and your life. It's hard to believe but no one is perfect.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSubmission is hard. It's not an escape from the world and it doesn't make you any less of a responsible adult. Being a supportive partner requires work and devotion.
Read The Article | Find SimilarI was a closet lesbian until 2003 and a closet kinkster until 2010.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.
Read The Article | Find SimilarFear can be good, because it makes us take a moment and stop and think about what we’re about to do, especially when that thing we’re about to do is stepping out of our comfort zone. Making the decision to submit, is definitely one of those decisions.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSometimes, as we grow up, we hang on to old defense mechanisms that served us fine at the time, but now seem to garner negative feedback. Here's how you too can rewrite old defensive behaviors into something that will serve you much better.
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