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Content related to "Define This: What is “Vanilla”?"

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Define This: BDSM Switch

In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is about the BDSM Switch. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.

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My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition

I've read recently on a forum where a submissive is explaining her life and how she struggles with one thing or another. Someone commented that they must not be submissive enough and that opened the gateway for competition. From people saying that they wouldn't behave that way, or a good submissive would do this or that it's all saying (even if it might not be true) that I'm better than you are because I know the answer. As if there were just one answer to begin with.

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Single in the Scene Part II: Service

As we apply the term service to hierarchical relationships, it’s really simple: what the Owner requires or needs. Those things that make the Owner’s life easier, more comfortable, and more joyous (at the very least).

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Male submission – Financial Domination

There are several different types of Financial Domination, including dynamics which do not involve the dominant receiving any money whatsoever. This is often not understood when some people rail against Financial Domination as a legitimate kink.

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Domifriends: The Best of Both Worlds

In the Vanilla World, we refer to boyfriends and girlfriends and everyone understands what we’re talking about. If you’re not in a public D/s relationship, describing your Dom/me can be a bit challenging.

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Where Can I Find Like-minded Friends w/ Herpes?

I have genital herpes, and it deters most people. Do you have any tips for a young woman looking for a group of like-minded kinksters?

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Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community

I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before.

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Entering the Community: Who You'll Meet and What You Can Expect at a Play Party/BDSM Dungeon

What is it like at a play party? I'm going to tell you! Come learn who you'll meet and what you'll see (and do) while there.

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What To Do When He Wants Me to Send Him Money as a Sign of Commitment

Being asked for money as a sign of commitment to him and the D/s dynamic is not okay. You don’t have to pay someone to prove you want to be in this relationship

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Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) - General Principles

Ambrosio brings us a series of posts on Leather protocol and etiquette. In this introductory post, we touch on the very basics of manners and appropriate behavior in BDSM situations.

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