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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Wants and Needs

Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Finding a Compatible Partner in the Lifestyle

Yes, it is hard to find that special partner who will give you what you want and compliment you in every aspect. However, think back to when you were dating in the vanilla realm. Was it just as hard? Some of you will say no, some will say yes. Those of you that say no, why is that you think?

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How a Submissive Can Have Two Dominants and Make It Work (Hint: It Takes Communication)

Having 2 dominants has worked out very smoothly for the three of us actually.

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Dating in the Lifestyle; What's the Big Deal?

I feel that we approach a Lifestyle date very differently than we would in a vanilla context.

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A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One?

No one should judge you for how you want to live your life (and if they do then they are the ones in the wrong). So, imagine my wonderment when early on in my personal development I encountered submissives and slaves that say they have a slave heart and they have a heart to serve. Or better yet, that you have to have a slave heart in order to serve. They went on to say that they don't have to work on their submission, that it comes from the heart and is easy for them.

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The 6 Most Common STDs

Everytime we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it's important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to have multiple partners, or if you are changing partners. Maintaining a clean bill of sexual health will provide yourself and your partner(s) with reassurance and safety. Even though you may be disease free does not mean you shouldn't practice safe sex. If you need a refresher, check the previous post on safer kinky sex practices.

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BDSM Basics - How Do I Find Someone to Play With?

How to find someone to experiment with and maybe have a relationship with.

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Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

Are you wondering why you’re wired the way you are? There’s nothing wrong with questioning, but just make sure you don’t spend all your time questioning and not living.

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