Welcome back to another Define This episode from Submissive Guide. I’m lunaKM.

Today’s term comes from the comments section of a previous video. If you have a question about a BDSM term or some lingo you’ve come across, leave it in the comments and I’ll consider making it a Define This segment.

So, on to today’s term; what is a switch?

Now the person in the comments goes on to say that they have found that while one person is the main dominant in the relationship, they have found times where the dynamic completely switches for certain scenarios. They didn’t say whether those were kinky scenarios but I’m going to make that assumption for this video.

A switch is someone who participates in SM activities as both a top and a bottom, or in D/s relationships as both a Dominant and a submissive. A switch will be a top on some occasions and a bottom on other occasions but not necessarily with the same partner. And switching within the confines of a scene or play session is rare.

Common myths about switches:

      Switches are usually bi: No, switches can be gay, straight or bi. This myth may have originated from men enjoying or imagining their submissive/slave female topping another submissive female.

      Switches tend to be confused and have just not found the right person yet: No, most switches have been on the BDSM scene for some time, have experienced both dom and sub, and are usually very certain of what they want.

      Switches can’t be ‘real’ submissives or ‘real’ dominants: No, some switches can be fully effective both as dominants and submissives.

People often shy away from admitting they like to switch because they fear derision.

Being a switch is just as valuable a role as either of the others. The art of being able to fully submit or be a Top at one moment or another takes a very strong person that knows exactly what they want from BDSM and goes out to get it.

Hopefully, I’ve cleared your head about whether a switch can exist in a D/s relationship and in SM play. But can both partners be switches?

It is most certainly possible for both people to be switches in a relationship, but it can be quite difficult balancing the needs of each other without a lot of compromise. What happens if you both feel like being submissive at that moment? Or Dominant in others? It’s certainly a hurdle to get over to make sure you both can get what you need from each other and often why some of the couples I’ve met over the years who both identify as switch have open relationships. They have come to a decision for what role they want within their primary relationship, and then their external relationship feeds their other needs.

And that’s it! Add your thoughts on switching in the comments section of the video and if you have a suggestion for a future Define This episode let me know!