This week's video tip is about collars.
Collars are a commonly discussed topic in BDSM. There is a wide range of information and opposing viewpoints on a lot of ideas surrounding collars and collaring. One of the ideas I'd like to cover today is the idea that a collar means more than a wedding ring and those that will put it on anyone they want to degrades the value of it.
A collar no matter what it may be made of is a commitment. This commitment could be for the duration of play, an agreed upon time frame or a more in-depth relationship. The whole idea of it being a wedding ring equivalent comes from the final group.
I believe that a collar has the meaning intended by the two involved. If they both intend it to mean that I'm going to play with you for the next 2 hours and you are going to agree to everything I say then that's what it means. It does not cheapen or degrade the value of that collar. Also, if the collar is meant as a permanent part of that person's relationship with their Dominant then by no means should it be just taken off and tossed aside. For that relationship, it is a deeper meaning.
Judgment on someone else's use of a collar is rude and disrespectful. This also goes for online collars. Some relationships are born online and die online. Some are fast and fleeting. Velcro collars are named for these. This does not make them any less important to the people involved. And more importantly, has no bearing on the one you wear.
So the next time a discussion on the value of collars comes up try to be more open to what it means overall, not just what yours means. Of course, mine means the world to me and if Master and I never get married I'm still just as committed, but that doesn't mean that everyone's collar has the same meaning. Open your mind.
What does the collar mean to you?