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The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

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Safewords Don't Automatically Mean You're Safe

There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.

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The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape in BDSM Scenarios

"Consensual rape." Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary to that initial concept of rape. A consensual act is one in which all parties are in agreement as to the parameters, activities, and boundaries of said act. How then, does the term "consensual rape" have any validity at all?

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Submissive vs. Slave

Mistress Steel tackles the submissive vs slave debate. Core differences and misconceptions are revealed.

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The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange

Being a smart, capable woman whose self-awareness has led her to identify wholly as a slave, I have set up some checks and balances in my life that help me feel comfortable pushing myself further in my Power Exchange dynamic.

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Holiday Gift Guide: 15 Toys and Tools for Beginning Dominants

Here's my list of 15 toys, tools and equipment that every beginning Dominant would love to open on Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate)!

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About Punishment

Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself.

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Some Issues with Consensuality

As in most things, the meaning of consent is far from simple.

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Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse

If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives?

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