(Disclosure: I first published this on EdenCafe.com. )
My first experience with ass to mouth sex was a huge surprise. I was playing around with someone, and I said something to the effect of, “kiss my ass” as a way to disagree with something he said, and he rolled me over, pinned me down and started kissing my ass. It moved to rimming, and while I was hesitant at once – hell it was something I never even considered – it felt good. Real good.
When he stopped I was unprepared for reciprocation, and I told him that I was uncomfortable with it. Which was fine for him, thankfully. Because of that experience, I both adored and abhorred the idea of rimming. I couldn’t bring myself to even consider trying it, but I knew I wouldn’t stop someone who wanted to do it on me.
How double-standard of me.
In the years that followed this experience, I continued on my ignorant/naïve way and didn’t give rimming another thought. That was until I met my husband/Master. He likes a little anal play and wanted me to reconsider my stand on rimming. Truthfully, I wanted to put this activity on my “hell no” list, but because he’s very persuasive, and because I could not find any solid reasons why I didn’t want to do it, I sought out information so that I could educate myself about it.
Hopping on the Internet, my searching was interesting, to say the least. The most direct information I found was on gay sex websites. I guess that didn’t surprise me really, but I was looking more for the information I needed to settle my nerves than the how-tos of it. Let me share what I’ve picked up.
1. Cleanliness – You don’t have to go the enema route, but making sure you are thoroughly wiped back there should be a given. It’s always possible with analingus that you will be in contact with minute fecal particles. That’s just the nature of the beast. Keeping clean can go a long way to preventing bacterial infections.
Also, make sure you clean your mouth afterward. A good mouth rinse does the trick, and don’t move from rimming to anything else before rinsing.
2. Sensational Sensations – The anus and surrounding tissues are jam-packed with nerve endings that when stimulated send signals straight to your erogenous zones. Who knew?! So many of us are missing out on a very pleasurable area just because of a little social pause.
3. Take a position – Acrobatics be damned, it’s not necessary to find some fancy position to lick your partner’s ass. On all fours, spread eagle, or laying flat on their stomach with their legs spread wide are just a few of the more comfortable ways to have a good time. If you need more ideas check the extra resources at the end of this post.
4. Hair, where? – Everyone has butt hair; how much is as individual as people are. You can get used it being there, or you can delicately shave it. For those who have an aversion to trying to rim in the first place, hair can trap smells, and it might work easier without the fuzz in the way. If you do shave, use a sensitive shaving foam and razor made for sensitive skin.
5. Dams – This is the tip that got me back into trying Analingus with my husband. We brought dental dams into the bedroom, and most of my issues with rimming were resolved. A dental dam is a piece of latex sheeting. To use a dental dam, make sure you rub lube on your partner’s asshole and surrounding area first. This will make things slide around better. Then hold the dam in place and go to town!
That’s just a start, but I wanted to leave you with a desire to learn on your own! In the resources at the bottom, you’ll find tips and tricks on the most pleasurable sensations and how to drive your partner wild. I highly recommend giving them a read. And if you are interested in even more information, Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin, Ph.D. is a recommended resource that has information on analingus as well!
Analingus will never be on my everyday list, but occasionally I’ll do it for him. I don’t have nearly as many hang ups about it now that the dams are a part of our sex safety kit. The education I’ve received, and the information I’ve found, has really helped to settle my hesitations. I should have done it years ago.
Sex is supposed to feel dirty, naughty and fun. Letting go of inhibitions is the best way to feel more free in your sexual pleasure, and I’m glad that I’ve opened up my mind to a bit of rimming. Thankfully that first experience hasn’t been my last, and I’m able to reciprocate without pause (except to get a dam), and that makes me feel so much better about my sexual journey and my ability to satisfy.
Questions:
- Do you like rimming? Giving or receiving?
- What would you tell someone hesitant about rimming to encourage them to try it?
