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The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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Financial Control in D/s Relationships

There are many different aspects to financial domination, maybe as many as there are D/s relationships. There is a chance that at some point the issue of financial domination will come up between you and your Dominant. If and when this happens, here is some practical advice.

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Setting Yourself Up for Rejection

A submissive, dating and seeing Dominants; rarely going past the first few dates can begin to wonder why they are constantly searching and never finding someone to serve. You can develop a closed heart and begin to fear opening yourself up for fear of rejection by yet again another Dominant. And that very well may be the problem.

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How to Give Good Initial Submissive Interviews for a D/s Relationship

When you first start talking to a potential Dominant you go through an initial interview. A lot of times this is just a period where basic questions are asked and your answers help the Dominant gauge just how interested you are in them, how compatible you are with them and what your intelligence level is.

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Is BDSM the Nerds and Geeks Club?

Dan Savage asked if nerds and geeks are more likely to be into BDSM. It was meant to be a joke, but in all truth, there has to be something to this as I've seen it myself. Now maybe it's because I'm more sensitive to seeing nerds and geeks, or should I say advanced intellectuals, being more into BDSM than other forms of sexuality. I am, after all a nerd myself and my Master is a geek. We get along better with nerdy and geeky friends than we do others because of the common topics that keep coming up.

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What is the "Spirit of the Rule"

So, what is the Spirit of the Rule? It is the underlying foundation of the rule. The reason the rule exists.

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Resources For CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)

Some good resources for starting your own Cock and Ball Torture learning.

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Jealousy and Mono/Poly Relationships

Here's what has helped Mina learn about jealousy in a mono/poly relationship - it just might help you too.

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Learning To Be a 24/7 Submissive Is Like...

You practice, adapt and learn what works for you and discard the things that don't. If you apply it to your everyday life, make it a part of you and don't consider it an on/off switch, then you too can be 24/7.

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Opening Communication with Myself

I have realized that open and honest communication with a partner can only happen when I am having an open and honest dialogue with myself.

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