This video post is about an epidemic I've seen with submissives all over.

A submissive, dating and seeing Dominants; rarely going past the first few dates can begin to wonder why they are constantly searching and never finding someone to serve. You can develop a closed heart and begin to fear opening yourself up for fear of rejection by yet again another Dominant. And that very well may be the problem.

When you are dating, whether it be vanilla or otherwise, both parties tend to be vulnerable in the first few dates as they get to know one another. That vulnerability is actually attractive and makes the person want to get to know you even more. But if you approach each new date as if you are going to the dentist with your mouth clamped shut and rarely sharing anything about yourself then I don't see another date happening.

Or what if you are in a new relationship and still you don't feel comfortable expressing your feelings, you hold them at an arms distance and never allow your heart to open up. It's going to be very difficult to build that relationship and potentially doom the relationship before it gets off the ground.

As a submissive I know it can be hard to constantly have an open heart and that you will get hurt and have to deal with some heartache. Everyone does you know. Hardening your heart to protect it from harm is a reflex thought that can have long lasting impact on your happiness. In fact the rejection you are fearing could happen because you aren't opening yourself up.

Opening yourself up to possible rejection is scary. You can and do have emotional pain when things don't work out. But if you continue to open yourself up there is a better chance that you'll find that one you are looking for. Take a moment and try to see how you act around your new dates from their side. Are you stand-offish? Close-lipped about yourself? If so you might want to try and open up a bit.

Your dates and your future will thank you.