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How to Learn What You Want and Need in a D/s Relationship

Submissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.

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What Everybody Ought To Know About Basic Needs and Need Deficits

The next time you take a look at your needs list, make a note of how important that need is. You can always scale them so that you can make sure your base needs are being met. Never settle for less than what you require. Submissives have needs too, make sure yours get met.

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Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive?

If you are a submissive, or learning about submission and don't like pain or don't think you like pain then that doesn't mean you aren't submissive.

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Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle?

So should there be a solid set of definitions that people can choose from? Other than the dictionary definitions that is; something lifestyle related that we can point to and say if you fit into a, b and c you are submissive, but if you feel more like d, e and f you are slave. If we had to come up with specific definitions what would be in your list for each label?

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A Feminist Submissive - Does Such a Person Exist? Yes! And I'll Tell You Why

Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.

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Submissive Advent - Day 3: The Wise Words

Spend about 5 minutes thinking about the advice you have received from others about life in general, living as a submissive or searching for a Dominant. How has it helped you grow and why does that advice keep coming back to you?

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30 Days of Submission: Day 10 - BDSM and Kink in the Submissive Relationship

Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships?

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Poly Conflict: Feeling Like a Third Wheel in a Triad

Do you have any advice for someone in a triad that is constantly feeling like a third wheel because the other female sub puts a constant emphasis on being "wife" and legally married to the male dominant of the relationship?

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An Overview of 1950's Head of Household Style Power Exchange

I believe many people in the BDSM world see any Male-dominated/female-followed (M/f) power exchange dynamic as being inherently 1950's. This simply isn't the case. So what is, exactly, the 1950's kink all about?

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Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship

Advice for a submissive who is feeling lost and insecure in their relationship when the sex life changes. Kayla tackles this really difficult topic.

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