Stop Sub Shaming: It’s Not Cool to be Judgy

It’s not cool to sub shame. But, in this world of kink, it’s a very real concern. Here’s how you can identify it and what you should do when your own thoughts lean towards being judgemental instead of open and accepting.

Stereotyping Submission as Feminine

Does being a submissive inherently mean you are feminine? This, of course, could work in a male Dominant/female submissive dynamic, but then again not always the case. What about relationships where the female is the Dominant? Do they suddenly become masculine?

5 Types of Power Exchange Relationships

We can however, put every relationship into 5 different relationship types. I'm sure there are more, but for the purpose of this essay, I will be covering the 5 types that I can see in this life. This is not the only way to look at and describe relationships, but it is a good beginning. I am not a relationship expert and what I am writing about is my own observations. If you feel that another definition fits your idea of each relationship type, then by all means, please use your own.

Acceptance of My Feminist Submissive Identity

I have spent much time pondering the seemingly conflicting views of feminism and submission. In the first part of my article, I would like to discuss feminism and how it fits in with my view of both the BDSM community and submission. In the second part, I will explore how I practice feminism in my personal life.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation

Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common letter groupings when it comes to talking about BDSM and submission. These could also be seen in profiles and dating sites.

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

A foot fetish is not necessarily related to submission, although for many guys the two combine well and there are a whole lot of varieties of activities and preferences for guys with a foot fetish.

Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

About half of us are like me - powerful energetic women who love to submit. I become even more of the strong woman that I am outside the bedroom, the strong woman who revels both in her strength and in her submission.

Book Review: Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships

Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships by Raven Kaldera is a collection of essays written by both masters and slaves who are involved in different types of relationships. Tequilarose provides a critical review.

Don't Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles

Personality traits do no indicate what label that person may wear in D/s or BDSM. Learn more ways we apply stereotypes and how to dispel your mistruths.